so fat :(

So I have become almost as fat as I was several years ago before I went on weight watchers. I am only about 20 lbs away from it, and only 7 lbs away from when I first bought a scale for home.
I just keep eating and eating. I've been really active, and getting some exercise but I am eating so much that I am continuing to gain weight. I've gained now about 28 lbs since my wedding. I have gained 16 lbs since January alone.

I am a heffer.

So I am going to use my journal to talk about my weight, and hopefully weight loss.
I have no cakes or pies in the house. No brownie mix. No fried potato chips. No pop tarts. No candy bars, I have some pirouline's but I'm going to give them to my stepdad or throw them out if he doesn't want them. So I've eaten most of the bad stuff that I have in the house.
I do however have some sugary cereals, and I think if I can just eat one bowl at a time of those I should be ok, and only one bowl a day. Then I'll not buy anymore. sigh.

so, that is good.
Now I have to focus on no more food from fast food places (I don't eat much of this, but I LOVE sonic, and I have to not go anymore. I basically can't eat fast food ever again because this is one of the things I did to lose 90 lbs on weight watchers, and if I can do it once, I can do it again.), and not eating giant quantities.
Also I can't buy anymore of the aforementioned badformestuff.... because if it's in the house, I'll eat it.

so, you all are going to know how fat I am now, but here is my starting weight from this morning... *Blushing furiously*

248.6

:(:(:(:(:(:(

I know, gross right? but I have to be honest with myself and in order to give me an added incentive to lose weight, I'm going to be honest with you all about how much I weigh. And hopefully how much I lose.

So I weigh about 20 - 25 lbs more than I did when I first met my husband. Around 18 lbs more than when I started a quick diet for the wedding, and 28.6 lbs more than my wedding day.
I don't think 20-25 lbs would make him leave me or say he's not attracted to me anymore, because I'm 6'1" so it doesn't look like as much as say a 5'7" tall person...

So I'm choosing to continue to believe my STBXH is an ass, and isn't attracted to me anymore because I got pissed at his infidelity.

everything always goes back to him doesn't it? I guess my weight gain is related to him and my depression.

Well not my weight loss.
That will be ALL ME!!!!!!!!

:)