Over all of it

At this moment (and I'm sure it will fluxuate in a couple hours or days or whatever) I am feeling totally over all of this.

Last night I spoke to my husband's ex gf, the mother of his child.
She basically told me that everything that I've been through with him she went througha lso. She brought up all these lies that he told about her to her own family, which he also told me, and my family about her, and how he was stalking her, how he told her to have an abortion (when he says that he really wanted his daughter, etc), how she was afraid he'd try to poison her or beat or to make her have a miscarriage, etc. and all of this other stuff... how he was totally OCD and would twist stuff around all the time, and missremember stuff all of the time, all of the things that he did with me, she said he did with her also (SHE was the one bringing them all up too, and I'd never talked to her about anything negative related to my husband before.)

I kept asking her "Was this before or after the marines?!"
and she kept saying it was all before, well before.
This is how he's always been.

wow... can you believe that?

So he's just plain nuts.
and I'm just plain lucky to be getting out of this.

wow.

I really like his ex gf.
oh and she also told me that she had to have herself committed for a week while they were dating, just to get away from him.
hahahahahaha...god.... it's like... wow.

I feel so much better.
I realize now the following:
1- his issues are not my fault
2- i could not have fixed him
3- our divorce is not my fault
4- he's nuts! like really really super dooper nuts!

I feel such relief. such... I don't know... just... wow.

I am very sad for him.
and I am extremely sad for his dad. So now his dad has to take care of one nutso wife and one nutso son.
sucks for him, and I wish there was something I could do to help. But I tried everything I knew to try and it didn't help.
so. *shrug*

I am letting go of all of it.

I am happy to be single again, or to be single soon rather.
This is for the best.
and I will find someone else who is not nuts, and who makes me happy and whom I can make happy.